I often asked people who drive to say, work, do you punch the air and say ‘YES!’ for achieving it? Of course you don’t. It’s nothing.
Well in fact – it isn’t nothing. It’s success. You’ve successfully driven to work. There was a time when you didn’t and couldn’t have driven a car, never mind navigated the journey through rush hour traffic.
Now, intellectually we may dismiss this as poppy-cock. Intellectually in our mind we say success is something where you really prove yourself, you re-enforce yourself to others, you achieve a mean feat, maybe you even need to win over someone else to see it as success. Unless you make more money this year you won’t be a success. Unless you get your promotion. Unless you start your business. Unless you fall in love. Unless you become even more confident.
Why on earth would you congratulate yourself for driving to work? That’s ridiculous isn’t it? Well, intellectually perhaps. And yet, to the unconscious mind, which amongst a sea of other things produces the levels of confidence you experience – success is success. Whether you deliver a mind blowing presentation or you safely drive to work. To the unconscious mind, both represent success if you highlight them as such.
Even making a cup of tea! There was a time when that would have been lethal to you. Now you do it without thinking. Driving would have been deadly at one time, and now you drive whilst making a conference call!
The question is, as you drive to work and later don’t remember going through that dangerous junction, who’s driving? Your unconscious mind is – because you were driving unconsciously.
In life – ALL your behaviours, all your feelings, all your learning happens in your unconscious mind. So your unconscious mind is driving you to work.
And to your unconscious mind, whether it’s doing that car journey, making hot drinks, or delivering that presentation to 150 people, if you do them well, success is success.
Your unconscious mind is the domain of the emotions.
So when you laugh, it laughs with you. When it weeps it weeps with you too. It’s like a 3 year old child, it takes everything literally, and like you (of course… it is you) it likes to feel good. It likes to be thanked, congratulated. And when you say thank you, well done (me) or whatever, it will go on creating more of that (success) for you. It will take the positive thought and associated feelings as direction to create more feelings and behaviours that create success. In all areas of your life.
Your Secret Mission?
So as you go through your day, congratulate yourself. And just in case you were wondering – do it silently to yourself! (I can hear the sigh of relief). No… they’ll think you’ve lost the plot if you do it out loud. Maybe you have lost the plot if you follow these suggestions. Even doing it silently. Well if the normal plot is mentally beating yourself over the head for everything that doesn’t go well (which leads you to misery, and if done really well can eventually lead people into all sorts of issues such as low self esteem and depression) – it’s a plot I’m more than happy to let go of!
It doesn’t matter what language you use. You could say ‘thank you’, or ‘well done’, or ‘nice one’. It doesn’t matter. When you do it, notice how it feels. It’s the moment of recognition that counts. Because your unconscious mind is always listening. And it will respond.
Try it just today, start to thank yourself (recognise) everything you do well, however basic. Any task! Did you brush your teeth? Well there was a time when you couldn’t, so don’t take it for granted – say thanks. Did you run that meeting? Did they accept the news you had to deliver about the changes coming at work – because of how well you handled it? Well again, say thanks.
The simple fact is, to the unconscious mind… success is success. And there are hundreds of examples in your day already. Most of which you take for granted. They just sit on different places on the success spectrum. Did you make a meal? Did you help someone feel better at work? Did you help your child with their homework? Did you use on-line banking? All done successfully.
The secret is this – the more success you spot and recognise to yourself, the more your unconscious mind will create in terms of the right feelings/thinking and behaviour to create more success.
And also – think of it this way. What if you chose to really apply this and turn the silent self appreciation into a habit. In a couple of months when you have a real challenge, maybe a high pressured interview for the job you’ve always wanted, or that presentation, or your own wedding! I wonder how much more confident and at ease you’d be. I wonder.
Have a secret love affair – with yourself!
Let’s say you liked animals – you were an animal lover. And one day a stray puppy walked into your life and you took it in. Now, again, assuming you were an animal lover, how would you treat it? You’d treat it well wouldn’t you? Someone who was an animal lover would treat it with love, kindness and encouragement. Which would make the puppy feel great. And the puppy would continue to respond by becoming a wonderful pet.
Well, think of your typical self talk, your self image, how you regard yourself. How much you take what you do well for granted.
Now imagine you gave yourself just 20% of the love, kindness, encouragement and appreciation you’d give the dog. That secret love affair.
I’m wondering, over time, how you’d be.