It’s wrong to get upset. We’re meant to stay in control, aren’t we? We’re meant to prove we can cope! Prove to whom? Others? Ourselves?
Plus, we’re told… Don’t get upset! Cheer up! Don’t show them you’re weak. It’s wrong to get angry!
So you distract yourself, you push the emotions away. You shove them down.
Well, where do you think they go? Over time, a reservoir of emotion has been created and you keep adding to it, every time you suppress / deny / push the emotion to one side.
Then, as you access that particular emotion, you will probably access a chunk of the reservoir, rather than the natural and appropriate intensity of emotion for the situation at hand. So gradually your reactions may have become more emotionally charged than they otherwise would be.
Some people say they just don’t get emotional. Or that they don’t do emotions.
‘I’m not the emotional type’.
Well you’d probably do well to open up to this… you’ve learnt to suppress the emotions really well. And – you’ve developed a coping mechanism to prevent regular access to your reservoirs!
And it’s like this, if you truly didn’t do emotions, you’d be dead.
So suppression caused by the conditioning that it’s somehow wrong / weak to be emotional, has caused a reservoir of emotional pain. Pain that will be for most people, out of their awareness.
In the end… the emotions will have to start coming out.
Your natural response as a being is to express, so suppression is unnatural, and you can’t continue to do something unnatural for so long.
Therefore, your inner being will eventually respond in some way. The laws of nature will take care of it. Firstly, it may come flowing out, and your inner being won’t care if you’re in the office! Secondly, they harm the body and your wellbeing. So you may develop physiological problems, manifested because of the stored pain, including illness or disease.
Plus carrying a lot of pain around takes a lot of energy, and this holds you back.
So… What can you do?
Whatever happens…accept it.
You would do well to think of ‘down times’ as periods of ‘clearing’. You’re clearing another layer of the onion. So, rather than get frustrated or whatever – go with it, live in it, place your attention on, and ‘go into’ the feelings. Then say to yourself…
‘I am (e.g.) anger’ (or the noun of the particular emotion).
Keep saying it silently to yourself. You’ll then express and expel the emotions naturally. Feel it happening as you do.
Because for that moment – you are that emotion. So for instance, with anger, in that moment every cell of your body, every fibre of your being is anger. So accept it! Say to yourself (silently) that you are anger (i.e. ‘I am anger). Also, say… ‘I accept this anger’. When you do this you may feel a slight increase in the intensity followed by a feeling/sensation of release.
Also – when you’re frustrated or annoyed or whatever, or disappointed in something you’ve not done, remember you are resisting against what is, what’s meant to be. Otherwise it wouldn’t be happening.
They say the universe is a sea of patterns coming together to create your ‘now’. So if you are resisting what is (say with frustration), you’re actually resisting against the whole universe.
So when you do this, recognise how you’re feeling, place your attention on the feelings and situation you’re unhappy about, and say silently to yourself…
‘I totally accept this – I totally surrender to this now’.
Plus… ‘I am noun of the emotion (e.g. I am sadness)’
Keep repeating these silently, whilst you keep your attention on the feelings. Notice what happens to them as you do. They’ll diminish and eventually disappear. Now you’re in a state of flow with what’s happening. A state of acceptance. You’re in flow with life.
Acceptance paves the way for healing and growth.
Resistance just builds up more negative energy, more emotion, more pain. So accept! Even if you resist, accept your resistance!
Be kind to yourself. Be proud of the fact that with every situation, every upset, through acceptance you’re gradually discarding an emotional suit of armor that will have taken lots of energy just to hold in place, never mind the fact it was sealing in an ever increasing amount of pain.
Clear the dam.
Now you’re throwing the rocks of emotion away – and will continue to do so (just by calmly expressing it), so the stream (your peace inside) can really start to flow.