Overcoming Dark Days: A Conversation with Nicky Pattinson

27 March 2024

Welcome to Episode 42! In this episode, I am delighted to share this space with a very special lady I met at a networking event. We will delve into some of the darker days but aim to inspire you to move and do something different during those challenging times. So, without further ado, let me introduce my special guest today, Nicky Pattinson.


Meet Nicky Pattinson


Alison: Hello and welcome, Nicky!


Nicky: Well, I hope you’ll still be equally delighted when we get to the end of this, Alison. You’ve caught me at an interesting time; I’m on my way to Johannesburg for work. I’m currently at an airport hotel, getting ready to head to the terminal.


Alison: I love it! We’re very blessed to have you here as you jet off to South Africa. Nicky, you are a connection expert, but you are so much more than that. Can you tell our listeners a little bit more about who you are?


Nicky: I had to become a connection expert. I’m not the shiniest button on the jacket; I can’t count, I can’t organize things. It took me two days to pack for a week-long trip. But I quickly learned that it’s not about how many qualifications you have. It’s about how you make people feel in your unique presence. That’s the golden key these days. From selling shoes to running a £2,000,000 a year business, I learned the importance of body language, voice tone, and how to engage people effectively.


Life’s Pivotal Moments


Nicky: Life is about evolving and adapting. We all have pivotal moments. I met my lovely ex-husband at a party, and two months later, we started a market stall in Huddersfield, making £1000 a week. Within two years, we had a £2,000,000 a year business, selling exactly the same stock as others but using our unique connection skills to stand out.


Overcoming Dark Days


Nicky: Unfortunately, life took a tragic turn. My son died due to negligence at nursery, and then my mom and dad passed away. I lost everything, faced creditors, and ended up in a small cottage with a four-year-old son. However, I still had the knowledge and skills I gained from the market stall business. I modified and reapplied these skills in various sectors, from lawyers to supermarkets.


Alison: Nicky, I remember hearing you speak for the first time and finding you incredibly relatable. Anyone listening today, wherever you’re starting from, there’s a point where you can start. There are always dark days, and I’d love to hear your thoughts on that.


Nicky: If you don’t know where to start, you become it, and it finds you. When I had COVID and couldn’t work for 18 months, what I do now found me. You become what you’re meant to be, and it finds you. Everyone assumes I must always be positive, but I’ve had my share of dark days. After losing everything and becoming a single parent on benefits, I was engulfed in grief and questioned my identity. But those dark days forced me to introspect and discover my true self. I began to write down my feelings, realized my worth, and redefined my purpose. Some of my best work emerged from these low points.


Alison: I love that. Sometimes, we need to sit with our feelings and experiences, even when they’re painful. Sometimes, the most unexpected ideas and solutions emerge from these introspective moments.


Taking the Leap: Embracing Change


Alison: I often tell people to just sit with their feelings, write about them, or even scream into a pillow. Sometimes, that’s what we need to do to find clarity. Nicky, you and I both took significant leaps of faith in our lives, leaving secure jobs to pursue our passions. What advice do you have for people who are on the fence about making a change?


Nicky: Reality check, it might not be safe to stay in that job anyway. You’re the only person you can rely on. Your heart will tell you when it’s time to move on. It’s all about finding your purpose and living authentically. Don’t let anyone else dictate your worth or define your path. Be responsible for yourself and make decisions based on your values, not societal expectations.


The Pursuit of Happiness


Nicky: Money alone won’t make you happy; it’s purpose that brings joy. When I was making £2,000,000 a year, it wasn’t the money that made me happy. It was the purpose and the ability to make people feel better that brought me satisfaction. Beyoncé might make 20,000 people feel better in a concert, but maybe we can impact people one by one with genuine connection and empathy.


Alison: Absolutely! It’s not about the money or external validation; it’s about living authentically, finding purpose, and making genuine connections with people.




Thank you for joining us for Episode 42 of Mental Wealth. If you found value in today’s conversation, please subscribe to the podcast wherever you listen. Remember, you are your own evaluator; don’t let anyone else define your worth or dictate your path.



Note: Nicky Pattinson also mentioned a new group starting on the 30th of April called “Greater Later”, focusing on helping people over 40 put themselves in the world in a way that helps them get what they want. For more information, listeners can contact Nicky directly here.


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