Communication starts with you


26 February 2024

We have established that human communication and relationships are some of the most complex things in life. As incredible as we are, we are limited in our ability to truly understand others: why they do the things they do, why they say the things they say and what they actually mean.

It can all feel like a mystery because we all process and interpret everything differently. The problem is we are often focused on other people and trying to understand them. We usually do this without understanding ourselves first, and when we are unsure how our own minds work, why do we try to decipher someone else’s? 

It does help to remember that everyone is not thinking and feeling the same as you. Knowing this helps you to adjust your expectations. 

It is vital to remember that each of us is unique and that each person’s ‘map of their reality’ is personal, intimate, and incomparable to anyone else’s. 

In order to understand our own world, we attempt to apply meaning and our own interpretation to other people’s actions, behaviours and communications. We can get into ‘sticky’ territory when we expect others to behave the same as us. We will all have people that are more like us than others, although our minds work differently based on the information and interpretations of experiences. We never truly know what is going on in someone else’s mind and how they view the world. 

The trouble starts when we try to second guess what is going on for someone else. Mind reading and making assumptions are prevalent and we rarely stop to think about how unique styles of communication are.

If you want to read more, this section was taken out of my book – How to make sense of relationships. You can buy your own copy here:

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